I learned how to drive today

I don't know how to drive. I have never driven a car, I have never had a steering wheel in my possession. So today, after we took my niece home, my husband gets out of the car and tells me it's time that I got my first lesson. I got my permit a week ago after thinking about getting it for years. Listen, I am a subway girl, a city girl, an urban chick, I am the fifth Sex and the City girl, the city is my playground, I have a love affair with it, even from the Bronx, so why would I want a car? to drive to the city? No way. Well, I'll tell you why I now want to drive, cause I have two kids!!!! that's why!!!! lugging a six year old and a one year old in a stroller up subway stairs ain't pretty. So maybe soon I might be able to drive to central avenue with the kids, drive to my mom's house, drive to amusement parks, drive by myself somewhere, drive my husband crazy trying to pry the car away from him.

So having that steering wheel in my hand, the gas petal at my foot, was scary and exhilarating. My husband gave me nice clear directions and I went managed to drive around the block without hitting another car or killing anyone!!! i told my husband that in no time I will be driving him around while he napped. He said, "yeah sure and i'll wake up in heaven...if I make it there." He's funny. I love that about him. Well, today I drove a car. the possibilities are endless.

Here's a pic of the black/white dress

So here's the pic of the black/white/grey dress I was talking about. I like it but I think I am going to make it a blouse. The stripes are a bit overwhelming to be a dress and I think that I didn't match the stripes well. oh, by the way, this is my own pattern, I am so excited about that. I have been practicing and reading about pattern making. This is my second attempt. Anyway, will update you on this reconstruction.

Much better day yesterday

Yesterday was a much betetr day. I put D in the baby sitter (I usually do that once a week but we have not been able to afford it the past three weeks, maybe that is why I have been so gloomy) and headed out to buy some t-shirts to complete one of my reconstructed t-shirt dresses. On my way, I ran into one of my dear friends, S, who lives near my babysitter. We chatted, I vented, it was great to talk to a live person who understood what I was going through. I only stayed a second because I wanted to make the most of my 5 hours away from the baby. So I bought my t-shirts, went to the bank, stopped by the fabric store to inquire about sergers and then bought turkey meat for dinner. When i got back home, I put on one of my many 80s mixed cds, blasted the volume and vacuumed/danced for about 45 minutes fulfilling my exercise and cleaning requirements for the day.

Then it was time to sew. I managed to sew all the pieces to one dress, no finishing though. I just wanted to know what it would look like on. It was okay, needed more twekaing. This is a dress made from recycled fabric. I had previously made a maternity top that I no longer need so i took it apart to make the striped bodice. The black is made from one of my husbands discarded turtlenecks. On the brown and green dress, I managed to cut the skirt from the t-shirts but didn't attached it yet. Photos to come, i promise!!!!

So creating really upped my mood. I need to do that on a regular basis. Why do i pretend to think that if I go a while without making something, it will be okay. I was the kind of art teacher who constantly taught this concept in my classes. The need to constantly create to get better, to be better. Why don't I heed my own advice!!!!.

Another good thing that happened yesterday...one of my friends from highschool found me on my facebook account, she saw my reconstructed Frida t-shirt from my photo and requested I make her one. Maybe my facebook account will be good for business. Okay, gotta go get dressed, we are all going out to buy a new bed.

Trying to Reconstruct my Life

So yes, my blog's name is The Reconstructed Life. That is exactly what I am trying to do at this time, trying to reconstruct my life now that I have children. I am in a delicate point in my life and perhaps this is why I decided to begin this blog, a venue to organize my thoughts. I have been feeling a bit displaced. Before my first child (we'll call him M), I had a career in the arts, first in the Curatorial Department of a museum and then in an art school library. I knew that I would probably quit my job when M was born, I wasn't happy with my job and I wanted to go back to the education department of a museum and so I did, after M turned two. When M turned 4, I wanted to expand my interest in arts education and decided to work in a middle school as an art teacher. I liked it enough to want to become certified. I pursued that route as i taught and then in my second year of teaching i became pregnant with D. At this time my husband (we'll call him J) got a new, intense job and we felt that with J's crazy hours at the job, and with the issues I was having with the Board of Education (my son M has autism and it was difficult finding a placement for him, will talk more about this in future blogs) the kids needed stability and that I should take a year off from teaching. I felt comfortable with this decision. I decided I would launch my clothing line Nelesc, during this time, and pursue other creative endeavors as I mothered.

Well, D is now 15 months and M is 6 and while I launched my online shop, it has been very difficult to do my creative work. My husband's intense schedule leaves us little time to talk and also leaves me with very little options for babysiting if i decide to go out with a friend. I feel dispaced, lonely, forgotten, invisible. J says this is only for a while, that when the kids get older, I will be able to go back to work and resume more of a life but the sacrifice seems too great right now. I miss me. I miss the old me before kids. I would love to reclaim a little of that. Is that possible?

On a good note, I did manage to cut pieces to two new dresses. hopefully, tomorrow will be a good sewing day. i will post pics when i am done. Also, I went to the meat store to buy some bacon for J. The butcher asked me where I had been, that he had missed me. Okay, maybe I am not forgotten after all. God is good!

In the beginning...

Well here it goes, I am launching a blog with much fear and trepidation. I guess the need to be heard is outweighing the fear at this moment.

The blog will be musings about motherhood, the creative life, sewing, updates about my clothing line Nelesc, examples of some of my projects, etc... Enjoy!